Doing Gender / Patriarchy

            Doing gender is an interesting concept. From birth we are put in this figurative box—in it, the social standards deemed socially appropriate for our biological sex. As we go about our lives in a society where being sisgendered is the norm, it is assumed that we as individuals are content with our gender and/or sex. But what happens when an individual isn’t comfortable with the gender that is assigned to them at birth?

            My biological sex is male. I have more testosterone than estrogen, an Adam’s apple, and a penis. My gender however is not man. My personal pronouns are not he/his nor are they his/her. I am gender queer, on the verge of being gender neutral. So where do I fall? Obviously not any place in the norm. I fall into that gray area that people don’t really take about, much less know about. It is assumed by many that there are only two distinct genders and every person on this planet identifies with the gender that is assigned to their biological sex. Would it make life easier if everyone was sisgendered? Absolutley. But the reality is, some aren’t and I am just an example.

            Being gender queer doesn’t mean I bypass doing gender, I just do gender differently. The ways in which I express my gender contradict each other. For every masculine thing I do, a feminine action soon follows which negates the previous action.

            We uphold patriarchy as a society by doing gender. Like doing gender, just because I don’t have one specific gender doesn’t mean I bypass patriarchy. I have never once complained when a man has held the door for me when walking to class nor have I minded when a man paid for my meal, but I do I point out someone’s sexist jokes, educate the general public when I find them staring at me with confused eyes and use women’s restrooms.

We all contribute in some way; there is no getting around it. Just by doing gender we contribute to patriarchy. We may think that we are the outliers that can say they don’t support patriarchy or don’t do gender, but we should just accept the fact that we unknowingly do and can’t really get around that.